So much hope

So we had a new employee start last night. We got to talking and she told me she was banded 20+ years ago. Shes had no problems and looks wonderful.She is super healthy and even got off all her meds.  I'm so excited to have met her and I hope to gain from her experience. Also where I work there are a couple girls who are on the fence about the lap band. I almost feel as if they are watching to see how I do before they make a decision. Talk about pressure..... Just got home from work and have to be back at work in less then 7 hours so I'm making this short. Today is my official weigh in day so when I do get back up I will post my weight. Please I'm begging for some loss. Any loss! I can't wait for my first fill on May 10th although I hate needles so I will proably be a big baby.

Weight Restrictions!

I am very open about being banded. People ask me a lot what my goal weight is and all I say is I want to be healthy. Today I realized what my goals truly are. I want to be smaller then my husband. He is 6 foot and 230lbs. He is in so much better shape. I'm sick of being the fat wife! I didn't even feel at ease on my wedding day which should have been one of the happiest days of my life. I was thinking the whole time we probably looked like the number 10.  I want to ride roller coasters again without the embarrassment of having to leave the ride because the bar wont close or fit over me.Went with my niece and nephew to the boardwalk today and they have rides. I didn't want to go on anything because I was scared I couldn't fit in the seats or I would get stuck. I want to stop looking at what the weight restriction is on EVERYTHING. I went to buy a new patio set last year and found myself asking "how much weight do these chairs hold?" to the skinny teenage kid. (He just shrugged by the way). I want to shop in a regular store. I love the clothes at certain stores but of course they go up to size 12/14 which is way to small. I also am sick to death of spending 2-5 dollars more for the plus size clothes then the normal clothes.   Those are my goals silly they may seem to some but these are some things that will truly make me happy. Thank you also for reading my blog and showing me so much support.

Just another stalker

So after stalking the lap band blogs for about 3 weeks I've decided to make my own. I fear that I may not be as interesting and articulate as some of the other bloggers but I'm hoping that by starting this blog I will be more likely to hold myself responsible for my weight loss. I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone but me. Anyway I was banded on March 31st 2011 and am currently in bandster hell. I started getting hungry last week and seem to not be able to stop thinking all day "I'm Hungry!!!". I eat and will feel full but then in a hour or two I am hungry again. I am trying to ignore it and just drink my water. I know I am sometimes eating more ounces then I should and then that makes me ashamed and mad at myself. I'm currently at 3-4 ozs but sometimes I don't measure well and know that I ate 5-6ozs instead of what I should. I know also that I have a food addiction and the mental hunger is the worst part. If I am being honest with myself I am also not getting enough protein. I hate the protein shakes that I once loved. After surgery they tasted to sweet. I just ordered unjury unflavored so we will see how that goes. I hope this gets better but I know its a longgggg journey that I am just starting. I am determined to do work my band....I just need to close my mouth already! I am lucky that I have a very supportive husband and family....although my family is more easy to convince to try my new recipes. Not so much the DH. I made cauliflower mock potatoes tonight for dinner with flounder. He wouldn't even look at the cauliflower....sigh....what can you do? He is wonderful in every other way though and I couldn't get through this without him and my sisters. Sorry such a long first post...as if anyone else is reading this....